Take the floor
by DenyingBeauty
Summary: A NELENA STORY Will Alex be able to choose between Lust and Love, will Nick and Kevin's relationship ever be the same? Someone will end up hurt, but who? Follow the story of love and confusion after everything changes so quickly.
1. The floor is ours Chapter 1

**Heyy, First story….**___I'm not very good at this, so please be nice, I don't mind constructive criticism either….Happy reading, and yes I know it isn't the longest, but with Christmas and everything I haven't had much time._

_Fiona xoxo_

Guilt, racing through every vein. I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't stop myself. Those lips so tempting, the body so welcoming. I was vulnerable, that's what it was. The party, lights flashing, I had been drinking. An accident.

I was out on the dance floor. My favourite song playing and I was going for it. The warm hands around my waist, I didn't realise that they were the wrong hands, I didn't think to turn and look behind me. The hands slowly moved higher, they cupped my breasts. I turned around and leaned in for a kiss. Those lips were so soft, the kiss was different to normal, more passionate. The lips moved down and over my neck. I opened my eyes and stood in my peripheral vision was Kevin.

Panic shot through me, if he was there then who was kissing me. Pushing the body away, I saw the deep brown eyes and mass of curls. "Nick what are you doing?" I asked startled.

"Well, babe, I saw you and couldn't keep my hands off you." He replied. I was disgusted by that I pulled away into the crowed. He followed me, it was as though he was chasing me. Running after me. I suddenly didn't feel safe anymore.

I wasn't scared of Nick, I was scared of myself. Letting myself fall for his boyish charms, and his power over everything in his way, they didn't call him "Mr. President" for no reason. The closer he got the slower I ran. His body was calling out to me, each muscle defined. His shirt making his eyes pop, I could feel my heart melting. My heart was telling me I was doing the right thing, but my mind was saying no.

The party was over, standing waiting by the bus stop in the bitter cold night air was horrible. "Alex?" I turned around startled to hear my name. It was Nick, surprise surprise. "I haven't stopped thinking about you, the kiss." He said slowly, "Alex, I've seen you with Kevin, I can't help but wish it was me. He doesn't make you happy. Your eyes say "help me" every time your with him."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Nick stop, stop it. I love Kevin, I love him so much. But, but…"

"But what? You don't love him, you will never love him like I love you."

"You don't know me. If things go this way you wont just be hurting Harper, you will be hurting your own brother. Seeing him hurt would hurt me. Yet your softer more gentle."

"Harper, I only went out with her so I could get to know you, Kevin will get over it, you're better than him, you deserve feelings."

I felt vulnerable, his words were so soft, reassuring, telling my heart to follow through. "Take my hand, come with me." I took it. We walked to his, it wasn't far. He saw I was colds and the next think I knew I had his coat around my shoulders. Kevin would never have done something so sweet. At the house I hesitated. "What about Kevin, he stormed out the party, what if he is here?" I asked before going through the open door.

"He won't be here, he will have gone with Joe to the after party and Stella's, they wont be home till morning, it's just us."

The house was warm, cosy. I had been a million times before, but this time felt different. Special. There were softly fragranced candles dotted around the room, giving off a calm flickering light. "Look, Alex, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do." I knew what he wanted to do, but teasing him seemed like fun.

"You got any movies?" I asked, waiting, watching for a reaction.

"Errmm, yeah. We have some chick flicks somewhere if that's what you really want." He replied the devastation showing in his eyes.

"Oh, get over here, you think I really want to watch a movie, when we are here. Alone."

His smile was so filled, it was a real smile. I slowly pulled my top off, then unbuttoned his shirt. He kissed me again. Softer then before, like a feather running over my lips and down my neck. His hands were fumbling with my bra, I could tell he was having problems. I moved my hands from his belt to help him. With it undone we moved to the bedroom, to start the nights entertainment.

"Ehhemm. What the hell is going on here?" Kevin stood in the door way. He was holding my bra in his hand.

"Kevin I can explain honestly. It was a mist-"

"No it wasn't. Alex I trusted you." He turned away, but not quick enough. I saw the single solitary tear run down his face.

"NICK, NICK GET UP YOU LAZY FAG!" I screamed at him. "This should never have happened. I'm sorry for leading you on."

Pulling the blanket off the bed and wrapping it around myself, like a towel. Rushing around picking up my discarded clothes. Pulling them on one by one. "Alex, you cant deny the fact that last night was brilliant."

"Yes Nick, I can. It was a mistake, now, I have to go and save my relationship."

The more I snapped at him the more my feelings for him grew, the more I wanted him. Yet seeing Kevin sad killed me inside. I was torn between love and lust, my mind a mess with confusion. The air a mess with panic as I scrambled for my clothes. Nothing would ever be the same, nothing will ever be easy. I had to either hurt Kevin or myself, neither would be easy.

_Please review._


	2. Lies and Deception Chapter 2

_Hey, So here is Chapter 2. _

"_Filled with sorrow, filled with painKnowing that I am to blame for leaving your heart out in the rainAnd I know you're going to walk awayLeave me with the price to pay"_

Alex's POV

"Kevin, please it isn't what it looks like."

"What so you just end up in bed with MY BROTHER. Alex I trusted you. Do you know how much this hurts?"

He stood in front of me, his brown eyes looked dead, they didn't have the same fire in them as Nicks did. Inside I felt guilty, I was comparing them. I loved them both for different reasons. Nick was so tempting, the way each muscle was perfectly defined, his eyes, his smile. Kevin understood me, he knew my dreams, my wishes, my biggest secrets. I couldn't love them both.

"Kevin, please. I don't want him, I want you. It wont happen again, I…I promise." There I went again, making promises I didn't know I would be able to keep. "Please come and give me a hug."

Feeling his arms wrapped around me was relieving. It was like the gust of cold air that you get after getting out a really hot shower. Refreshing.

"Go home, get dressed and I will pick you up for lunch, you pick." He whispered in my ear.

"Only if I can pay as well, I feel really bad. I am so sorry."

"Shh, forget about it." He said before kissing me.

The kiss was so hard, almost desperate. He was clinging on to me. I pulled away and headed for the door. In the corner of my eye I could see Nick. He was still stark naked, playing his guitar, "Everyone knows its meant to be, falling in love just you and me." It was an old song. It was released when Kevin and I first started seeing each other, but it had never his me. "Nick, is that song. Is it about me?" He looked at me, he didn't need to reply. I ran out the house. I couldn't cry.

Nick had always been against the relationship. He said he was too old for me. I had known Nick for years, we met when we were eight. We were like best friends, then he moved from New York to LA for a few years. When he moved back I never really spoke to him, I was always with Kevin, he seemed to avoid me.

Now though it all made sense, he loved me and I knew there was part of me that felt the same about him. I was so confused. I couldn't break Kevin's heart but I couldn't break Nicks.

At home I had a shower, washing my body as well as I could, removing the traces of Nick. I wondered around my room for a bit before selecting a CD. My favourite CD. I put it on as I got ready. A simple pair of jeans and a cardigan. I had just finished getting ready when there was a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. I grabbed my purse and headed out. Sitting in the car I felt paranoid, there were traces of Nick that made my heart race. "Let's go to the new Chinese on 5th Avenue." I said, as we pulled out the drive. I knew there would be paparazzi there, that's why I chose it. I had to show Nick that I was happy.

Pulling into to the car park, both Kevin and I pulled out our sunglasses. We walked into the restaurant with our heads low, I heard a camera click behind me. I turned around. "Alex, rumours have it that you left a party last night with Nick, is this true? Are you and Kevin on the verge of a break up?" The questions were flowing thick and fast. I had it all rehearsed though.

"Nick and I left the party last night as friends, he helped me home because I wasn't feeling too well. Kevin and I are closer than ever, he is my world and I could never loose him."

I turned to face Kevin and gave him a kiss for the camera. "Now we would like to eat our lunch in peace." He said. There was a glimmer in his eye, he fell for my lie, so maybe I would start to believe it soon enough.

Nicks POV

Reading the news paper I was shocked. "We left as just friends." She lied, it was all to hurt me I knew, the pictures were posed, but it was front page news. I knew I couldn't pursue her. She would come to me, in time. She didn't love him, the fire wasn't in her eyes.

Someway she would me mine. Even when I was in LA, and we were miles and miles apart, she was always in my heart or on my mind. I persuaded myself to avoid her when I moved back, I thought my feelings would go. When she started seeing Kev, I was crushed. I tried to tell her he was too old, but she didn't see. Even when I dated Miley Stewart, she was on my mind.

She at the beach with my brother, she was rubbing their relationship in my face, taunting me. I just want to scream. The night of the party was the best night ever. We were so close I had finally convinced myself that we were meant to be. She seemed so comfortable with me, so relaxed. I am just begging to hear her voice, telling me she loves me too. I see her so often and it kills me inside. I spend nights thinking about her, and crying. Yes, I know it is soft for a guy to cry but I love her, she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door slamming, I could here Alex giggling between kisses. "Oi Nick, were going up to my room, don't disturb!" It was sickening knowing she was being intimate with my brother, images of it flashed across my mind. He in her underwear. I couldn't help but get excited. I looked at my little friend, he thought so too.

I had to go out, Harper, she didn't know about before, I still had my girl friend, I could go and see her. I passed Joe on my way out, "Joe, I'm going round Harpers."

"Do ya wanna lift, bro?" He waved his keys in the air. He loved rubbing the fact that he had his permit. Two brothers both had something that I didn't. Frankie probably did too.

"No thanks, I will just walk, got some stuff to sort out." I slammed the door behind me. Stepping outside came as a surprise, it was colder than I though. I didn't have my coat. Shoving my hands in my pockets I wandered down the street, maybe seeing Harper was not a good idea, I hadn't exactly been the perfect boyfriend recently. I didn't even remember the last time I spoke to her, she called and called and left numerous texts, that I meant to reply to but never got around to it. I even blew her off at the party for her best friend. I shocked myself sometimes. I walked straight past Harpers house and to the sub-station. Alex's parents sandwich shop, her brothers were cool. Max and Justin, maybe if I got to know them a bit more I could get closer to the parents. Kevin hadn't met them yet, I would be ahead of him. Thinking about it, I was getting hungry as well.

Inside the shop smelt amazing, looking at the menu I couldn't chose, I had suddenly lost my appetite. Everything reminded me of Alex. Her mum came over and took my order; a root beer and beef and cheese melt. Her mum and her looked so similar. Looking around I could sense the luck, we would be together one day.

_**I am sorry about the really bad end to this chapter, I ran out of ideas but I have one for the next one, if that makes sense. The more reviews I get the faster the next chapter goes up. Unless I get really inspired, or bored. **_


	3. Thunder Chapter 3

Ok Chapter 3. Sorry it has taken so long, I kept putting it off. I was thinking of ideas and inspiration. 

"_Today I'm on my ownI can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone_" Thunder- Boys Like Girls

**Alex's POV**

**Saying goodbye to Kevin tonight was easier than normal. He didn't show me to the door, he just kissed me and waved goodbye. The shop was closed, when I walked through but I could already tell something was wrong. I went in and Mum was sitting on the sofa. "What's up?" I asked. She looked at me as though I was mental.**

"**Oh, you only seem to have gotten yourself a fan. Nick seems to have the impression that you and Kevin will be breaking up soon." **

**My face dropped, Nick actually thought that. I wasn't denying it, I just didn't want to believe it myself, I still wanted to love Kevin but the spark had gone. "I'm going to bed, night." I said before heading upstairs. **

**Thoughts raced around my head. I couldn't focus on just one. **_**Nick, Kevin, Nick. Damn it Alex think about Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Nick. **_**How could Nick think Kev and I were going to break up. I was getting frustrated. In bed I tossed and turned unable to sleep. I was thinking about how much Nick liked me, and how much I longed for him. Something in my mind clicked as I lay there. I had liked Nick longer than Kevin, I had more feelings for Nick too. Ever since 8th**** grade I longed to be with Nick. Kevin started as a distraction, I never thought I would grow close to him, not like I did. He was my first everything, kiss, love, boyfriend. I thought the want for Nick had gone, maybe that's why I let him in so easily.**

**Falling asleep finally, I felt my eye lids drop and I fell into a world of dreams. Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! **I was suddenly very awake again. I reached out and picked my Blackberry up. The clock said 10.42. It didn't feel like I had been asleep for nearly 11 hours. I felt as though I had been asleep for about two. I ready my message. **Alex, we need to talk. Harper X **

That didn't sound good. I pressed the redial button and Harper picked up almost immediately. "Alex can you please come round, I don't know what to wear. Nick just rang and said he wanted to take me out. Alex please I need your help." The idiot, he seduces me to spend the night with him, almost ruins my relationship with his brother and the continues his relationship with his girlfriend.

"Yeah, Harps I will be round in a bit, just let me get ready." I hung up and swung my legs outside my haven of warmth, into the bitter cold air.

After helping Harper choose something to wear, I headed to the park. I wanted the air. I had a serious decision to make. Everyone says to follow your heart over your head, but what if your head makes more sense? I was just so confused. In the park the sound of children playing made me feel at home. I sat on a bench and let my mind drift. I imagined what it would be like when I was older. When I had kids. 

Always though, while I sat and imagined how it could be, the male was blurred. Everything else was perfectly clear except that one detail. It was stupid but it frustrated me. "Alex! Alex! Alex!" I could hear a voice yelling at me from behind. It was Franki. Behind him was Joe. He waved, I waved back and smiled, praying in my mind he wouldn't sit next to me. Obviously I am disliked up there, because Joe came and sat right down next to me. We sat in silence for a bit. It seemed like hours, but was only a few minutes. "What's going on Alex? What you are doing isn't like you at all. I'm the one who has a new Girlfriend every time we see each other, and I certainly don't flick between sisters."

"Has Kevin put you up to this?" I asked, I wanted to know what I was dealing with.

"No, this is between you and me. Neither of the other two idiots will ever know. I just want to know which of the two lazy arses you have fallen for?"

"Joe, I honestly don't know. I haven't a clue. Kevin is so true and honest, but Nick, Nick has all of that and more. Yet with Nick something doesn't feel quite right." I felt a tear of frustration fall. I could hear Joe laughing, I felt like hitting him. It wasn't funny! 

"Hey calm down. I had an issue like this befo-"

"I don't care about your issue like this! You go through girls like milk cartons. YOU CANT TALK!" I got up and headed away. His hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me back.

" Look I can be horrible to my brothers, but I care about them, I don't want them to get hurt when you make the wrong decision." The words hit me. 

"Joe I have to go." I pulled away and ran. 

At home I laid on my unmade bed. My ring tone was blaring at me. I left it. It kept ringing. I didn't have the energy to answer. I shut my eyes and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Nicks POV

Alex pick up your god damned phone. I had to talk to her. The article had been on my mind all day, but the images were corrupted by images of her in my room in her underwear. She looked so sexy. Those perfectly round breasts. ARG NICK. If she isn't going to answer I am going round. 

I walked to the Russo residence, and headed to where I thought her room would be, hoping I wouldn't get caught. I was faced with a corridor with two doors either side and one at the end. I headed for the end one. I don't know why it seemed to call out to me like her skin did. I carefully opened the door a crack and looked in. Alex was sprawled over her bed. I edged my way through and sat on the edge of her bed and watched her. I reached out and touched her hair. I instantly regretted it because her eyes flicked open. 

"Nick?"

"I'm so sorry. I was worried. You weren't picking up your phone." I started heading towards the door. She gazed at me with those big eyes of hers. They were so soft and forgiving. "Come and sit hear you big oaf." She laughed at me, I sat on the edge of her bed. There was an air of awkwardness about us. I subtly glanced at her, to see her glance away. She shuffled closer. I looked up and moved the hair from her face. It seemed as though it should have been a scene from a movie, but it was real. This was really happening to us. I leaned in and kissed her. She pulled back. "Nick, I can't. I don't want to hurt Kevin." She seemed upset. I forced a smile as if to say it was ok. 

"Alex, he doesn't have to know. Please, then choose. Otherwise I am scared you will make the wrong decision." 

I rested my hand on her leg. I wanted to take it further. But I knew I couldn't. Not until I had an answer. I looked at her, she slightly nodded her head, "Ok, I will try, but tell no one. Please?" I couldn't help but smile. 

Alex POV

Two brothers at the same time. I am risking a lot, but hopefully it will be worth it. A


	4. Today was a fairytale

"_Today was a fairy tale, you were a prince, I used to be a damsel in distress" _**Today was a Fairytale –Taylor Swift**

"_You give me roses but they are all just made of plastic" _**Falling Down –Selena Gomez**

**Trying to get things up ASAP but I have limited access to my computer. I hope you like it.**

**Alex POV **

I don't know if it is going to work. I already know who I want, but someone is going to end up hurt. I didn't want to see the pain. Sooner or later it would engulf me though, pull me under. I would drown in pain. I paced my bedroom thinking things over. I picked up my guitar and started pulling some chords together. Kevin had taught me. I opened my diary where I had some lyrics and started singing. "I'm dreaming of you tonight, 'till tomorrow I will be holding you tight." It worked well. I put everything down and got up.

"I'm off out. Going to see Kevin mum, be back for dinner. I love you." I called as I raced down the stairs grabbing my purse and jacket. I hesitated at the coat rack looking for the one that would compliment my outfit best. I was wearing some dark jeggins and a long yellow print top. I had my favourite blue tassel boots on. After a moment's thought I grabbed my blue one. Outside I joined the hustle and bustle of New York and walked the familiar path to the subway.

The subway was cramped and smelly. Hail the day I get my drivers permit. On the subway I pulled a copy of "Seventeen" out of my bag. Vanessa Anne Hudgens was on the front, she was so unfairly pretty. I flicked through the corners of some pages until I got to the section I was looking for. Fashion. My dream job is to work as a fashion columnist so I had to keep up on the trends. There were some really cute outfits, but none I would have put together; I could have mixed it up a bit more, made it more original. Finally I reached my spot and stepped out into the sunlight. For a split second I was blinded by the light.

The walk to Kevin's wasn't long; it was just round the corner so I headed off. On arrival at the big red door, I knocked, however not after hesitation, wondering if I had made the right decision. I waited. And waited, then I knocked again. "I'm coming, Jeez." I could hear Joe yell down the stairs that lead to the front door. "What do you want? Do you know what time it is?" He said, looking at me disapprovingly. I still yet couldn't help but notice that he was in his towel and still had bubbles in his hair.  
"I came to see Nick. It's about a surprise for Kevin before you ask." I said, standing my ground.  
"Kevin isn't in. You're in luck. You might want to get the lazy sod out of bed while you are at." He replied standing to one side to let me in.  
"Thanks Joe, go enjoy the rest of your shower." I smiled. His reply was inaudible, but was somewhere between a grunt and an "okay". I followed the corridor round. I was faced with the door I knew so well, but I kept going. At Nick's door I walked straight in. Then regretted knocking. "Jesus Nick." I screeched in utter disgust.  
"It's what you get if you don't knock," he laughed at me, "but you can't say you don't like it."  
"Put it away I'm not in the mood. Get up, I want to go out." I threw some clothes at him. Pulling up his twisty desk chair I sat down and turned around. Behind me I could hear him scrabbling for clothes. "On the count of ten I am turning around, 10…9…8…7…"  
"Done." He yelled across the room. "How about some we get some breakfast? Pancakes on me." He grabbed my arm and pulled me out the house. "I got Joe's truck for the day, we can go anywhere you want."  
"To be quite honest, I don't mind, I just wanted to be with you. Somewhere low key though. I don't want to get spotted." I knew he would understand, so we drove to the outskirts of the city where there was a small greasy looking diner. He took my hand and we went in. We sat in a small corner booth and both ordered blueberry pancakes. When they came out my eyes were stuck. They were the biggest fattest pancakes I had ever seen. Suddenly I lost my appetite. I ate until I was stuffed. Nick had long finished his, see he ate like a pig, shovelling food down his through as fast as he could. "Do you want the rest of mine?" I asked, I had noticed him staring at it like a lost puppy. He gave a slight nod. I slid the plate over and watched him shovel some more.

"Alex, I have a surprise for you." He said as he finished. "But you got to trust me." At that I became slightly worried. We sat in the car and I knew we were going through central New York. Soon I could see the statue of liberty. He pulled over and got out. I followed timidly. We were sat on a hill; behind us was the New York landscape, in front of us the sea and the statue of liberty. I sat on the bench while Nick got something out of the truck. Soon, Nick was sat next to me, with his guitar. "I wrote you a song." He said and soon he was taking me away with his music. "_I got this awesome amazing crazy kinda crush on you, and though I try to forget you, it doesn't matter what I do. On my mind all the time, cant deny its true, 'cause I got this crazy kinda crush on you."_

My jaw dropped it was amazing. "Nick I love it. I feel like a princess today, you took me out, wrote me a song, I feel so…so loved." I stood up and wrapped my arms around him. He turned to me and kissed me. I kissed him back. It looked like a scene from a movie. Cheesy I will admit but it was beautiful all the same.

**Kevin's POV**

Where was she? It was getting late and we were going out. I thought she had forgotten until she came rushing down the street wearing he movie clothes. "Ready?" She asked. I nodded and held the door open for her, as she slipped into my new convertible. On the seat were 12 roses. I saw her pick them up and cradle them in her arms like a baby. "Thank you." She said and I got in myself. "They are beautiful." I remembered they were her favourite flower.  
"Someone once told me if you hold a rose upside down, it lasts longer." I saw her chuckle before turning the upside down. "Don't be silly." I took them and held them round the right way.

The movie was amazing; She snuggled into me like to old day. I played with her hair. He long soft curls of chocolate coloured delight. If she cut it, I think I would cry. Her hair was her, it smelt like her. I loved her hair. Half way through the movie she stood up and walked out. She took longer than I thought she would. About 15 minuets later she returned, "Where did you go?" She just looked at me, before mouthing one single word. "Sorry."

**Ok so, I am really happy with this Chapter. Please review, I don't care if it a bad review, I like them :D Next chapter will go up as soon as I can. I just thought I would leave you all wondering about Alex's disappearing act.**


	5. You're not Sorry

"**You can tell me that you're sorry, but baby I don't believe you like I did before, you're not sorry."- **_**You're not sorry, Taylor Swift**_

**Okay, funny story. I have got about 6 chapters written for this one chapter so I am merging them all together now. I am really behind I know. But I have been really busy. So here is my mash up of different story parts. **

**Nicks POV**

I know I shouldn't have called. It was a bad idea. She was with him. I know she doesn't want to tell anyone about us, but I can't be all hush hush any more, it's killing me. Well, not literally killing me, if it was I would be dead. I want to be with her, I long to be with her, she's only trying to stop Kevin getting hurt. He's a big boy, he doesn't need the care. He will just sulk for a few days then write some stupid song that we won't use. Then again, this could break up the band. I could go solo. Maybe Joe will be able to help. He is so in love with his latest girl friend. "Joe, I need some advice..." I yell up the fire poles instantly regretting what I just said.  
"Awwwe lil bro wants help with the ladies." He said while sliding down. "So, tell?"

"Actually, I just wanted to know what tie to wear." I asked while picking up two ties that were laying on the back of the couch. I held them up and put a puzzled look on my face.  
"Well, they are both mine, so neither of them." He said while walking away. I slowly exhaled as a feeling of relief flooded my body. I had gotten away with it. Alex seemed upset on the phone. I knew where she was and I had to see her. The house would be empty when I returned. Kevin would probably go out and burn some steam and Joe was going out. I could bring her back here.

**Alex's POV**

I told him I was sorry and left him there. The night had been perfect. Nothing bad had happened, but the movie made me realise that I didn't want to be with Kevin. I didn't feel for him like I used to, he was like my best friend and I couldn't force the relationship. I knew that I would be hurting him by leaving him, but staying with him was hurting myself.

I left the movie to call Nick. I told him I couldn't do it. I couldn't pretend to care for Kevin anymore. I made my way from the movie theatre to the park where I sat on a bench. I still had the roses Kevin bought me. I pulled the petals off one at a time and watched them float away in the breeze. The dimly lit park helped clear my head. I heard steps behind me. "Alex, please. I love you so much. Please come back with me, the house is empty. Kevin won't come home, not if you walked out on him. He will be moping around like a lost puppy." He pleaded with me. His big eyes glittered in the evening light, how could I not go with him.

I sunk into his warm muscular arms and it felt like I was heaven. I could feel his heart beating and the heat of his body, "Baby." He whispered into my ear, "You look beautiful tonight." Hearing him say that made me smile. My Prince Charming, he never told me I was hot or fit, it was always beautiful or stunning. Kevin showered me in compliments too of course, but they never felt so heartfelt, and I never felt as special. Nick treated me like a princess, even if he could be a pig at times.

Walking hand in hand back to his house under the stars reminded me of when we first met. The way I instantly felt comfortable when I was around him. At home we curled up on the sofa watching a film. I rested my head on his lap as he played with my hair, his warm fingers twisting it round. I turn my head and smile, our eyes connect, I was instantly lost in them.

"You know I love you?" He asked as I sat up.

"Yes, I love you too, you know that," I replied.

He turned his head and kissed me, it started soft, as though someone had brushed a feather across my lips, then it grew more passionate. His arms wrapped around me made me feel safe, loved. I was happier than I had been in a long time. I felt comfortable with who I was, as though for once I wasn't trying to make other people happy. I was doing what was right for me.

However, it wasn't long before we realized that we weren't alone. "Ahem," We both turned and looked behind us. Frankie was stood there, smiling, he seemed proud of interrupting us. "I'm telling Joe!" he shouted before running up the stairs to his room where his phone was. Nick jumped up and chased him up the stairs yelling at him all the way. No one could know about us. It would ruin everything. If Frankie told Joe he would tell Kevin. It would break Kevin to pieces. He thinks I am being utterly faithful to him, but I am not. I am sneaking around behind his back with his brother. His beautiful, passionate brother. I know I walked out on him at the cinema but he would understand. I hope he would understand. If not, I would have to tell him myself. If I am going to leave him for Nick, I have to tell him myself, otherwise the pain levels would increase. I just can't hurt him that much.

Sitting on that sofa I wondered whether it was really what I wanted. A secret relationship. It was so much hard work; the constant hiding and sneaking. Is it worth it? I didn't want to lose what I had. I love him, he was and still is my first love, his hair, his eyes, the way he can make me laugh and even the ways he makes me cry, but I also have something new. Something exciting. Yet again I was torn between two polar opposites. I had to finalize my decision again. I was certain I knew before, but I don't know now.

"I'm going." I call up the stairs before grabbing my coat to leave. Not even a goodbye in return. Walking home I turn down several streets before breaking into a run. My feet were pounding on the ground, I felt free. With each step my mind and heart were fighting. Nick. Kevin. Nick. Kevin. Nick. Over and over again. I stopped outside the substation. Finally my mind and my head had made a decision. I pulled out my phone. "_It's over. I choose you. XxxX" _I sent it. Then I typed out another message. "_We need to talk. I have so much to say to you, and it will be difficult to hear, but it is so much harder to say. I will see you tomorrow at 9 by the pond." _I sent that too. Before walking into the substation and heading to bed.

**A/N I have a bit left to write. Please read and review. **


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